Are You a Tombstone Tourist?

Cemetery in snow

When someone asks what I do for fun, I reply that I’m a tombstone tourist.  It’s nice that there is a word to describe those of us who love to go to cemeteries.  Otherwise, we would have to do a lot of explaining, (which I did until I found ‘the word.’)

A winter sunset in
the cemetery

Brian Neighbors -
A Tombstone Tourist

Tombstone tourist is a term that caught on after Scott Stanton published his book by the same name in 2003.  (The book is about popular musicians and where they are buried.)  Before that, those of us who frequented cemeteries were known, singularly, as a ‘taphophile’ – someone who has “a passion for and enjoyment of cemeteries”. Or in the plural form, by the term ‘taphophilia.’ 

Neglected Crypt

Military Cemetery

Of course, there are other terms that attempt to describe those of us who love visiting graveyards, searching for tombstones and admiring mausoleums.  Just a few of the more popular are ‘grave hunter,’ ‘cemetery enthusiast,’ and ‘graver.’  All sound a bit adventurous, a bit like a PBS documentary title. But I prefer being called a  ‘tombstone tourist.’  It has a more up-beat sound and it makes more sense to me, because we are tourists – on a journey, making discoveries, enjoying ourselves, and our pursuit.   I know I am not a graver - it just sounds a bit odd and morbid to me.

Sunlit Mausoleum

Frankfort, Kentucky Cemetery

When asked what a tombstone tourist is, I can talk (at length) about the cemeteries I have visited, and the ones I want to, expounding on the treasures found there – the exquisite architecture, the impressive history, the genealogical aspects, the magnificent statues, the puzzling symbols, and the fact that I get to enjoy all of this – outside – without crowds, deadlines or paying an outlandish amount for an entertaining afternoon.

Sunlight on a stone

Old Cathedral,
Vincennes, Indiana

And we have history!  Tombstone tourists have existed for thousands of years.  In China, ancestor worship – where family members visit the graves of ancestors, decorate them and ask for their guidance or favor - has been in practice since ancient times. In numerous countries, pilgrimages are still made to the burial sites of saints and other religious figures, to honor them and seek assistance.

Autumn in the cemetery

A Tombstone Tourist Day for me

The advent of the internet has changed what we do, in a way.  Now, you can ‘visit’ a cemetery on line.  While it’s not the same as strolling through a windy autumnal cemetery, searching for an ancestor’s grave, it does make sense if time or finances are holding you back from making the trip.  You can still locate an ancestor’s final resting place on the internet, complete with a photo, on sites such as findagrave.com and interment.com.  Or visit the websites of some of the most famous cemeteries in the world and see them vicariously - still an adventure.

An undisturbed path
through the snow

Summer in the cemetery

But a true tombstone tourist relishes that walk among the stones, surrounded by nature and the elements.  There’s something about following a cemetery road or graveyard path, wherever it may wander, and being surprised, and delighted, by the great discoveries you make just around the bend.  Nothing can take that thrill away.

Tombstone Tourist?  Yes, that’s me!

~ Joy

Serene and Evergreen - Cemeteries Allowing Plants & Flowers

The planting of flowers, shrubs or trees at the site of a loved one’s grave goes far back into history.  Plantings were used as a way to mark where the grave was or as a way to honor the deceased with a favorite flower or tree.  Cedar trees were planted to keep some color in a graveyard year-round. According to Purdue University Extension Horticultural Education and International Arborist Larry Caplan, “Evergreens are frequently used in cemeteries because they remain green and living all year round.  Visitors want to feel the concept of “rebirth” or “eternal life” that evergreens represent.”

There was a time when cemeteries allowed the planting of trees, plants and flowers at a gravesite, especially those small, country graveyards and the Rural or Garden cemeteries of the 1800’s.  Families would plant flowers, shrubs and trees as a permanent memorial to a loved one.  They would also take the time to tend the plantings and do the general upkeep of trimming and pruning required. But now, things are different.  While some cemeteries still allow planting to be done.  More and more are refusing such requests.

So why was the practice of cemetery plantings discontinued? Cemeteries without sufficient grounds crews do not want the added work of tending to plantings around graves.  Many plants will spread quickly if not tended regularly.  Families usually plant and then forget to do the general up-keep.  To make life easier on everyone involved, many cemeteries now offer an option to purchase a bush or tree in a selected area as a remembrance of your loved one or family.  The cemetery will have a list of pre-approved plantings or may allow the family to make a different choice, if approved by the cemetery before planting.

There are several plants that lend themselves nicely to cemetery planting.  These include some of the traditional favorites that you see in the older cemeteries and graveyards, peonies, lilies, hostas, irises, yucca, roses, tulips and daffodils. Most graveyards and cemeteries include cedar trees, yew trees, and firs, those that represent the ‘evergreen’ design.   Maples, oaks and elms are also favorite cemetery trees due to the longevity, hardiness and their beautiful autumn colors.

There are convenient ways to plant flowers at a grave.  Annuals will stand a better chance of surviving lawnmowers and weed eaters if planted directly in front or behind the stone.  If perennial bulbs or shrubs are allowed, they usually are placed at the side or sides of the grave marker.  There are now stones that allow for plantings as part of the marker with a planting strip left open to the soil below.  Maintenance, including weeding and deadheading, is the family’s responsibility. 

There are cemeteries around the country that are designated arboretums and horticultural hotspots.  These maintain a serene and tranquil look and feel of being more than just a cemetery.  Many have tree and flower maps so that visitors may tour the grounds, looking for specific trees and plantings.  These cemeteries encourage visitors to enjoy the park-like atmosphere by providing walking trails, small ponds with fountains, and well-landscaped grounds and flowerbeds.  Here are some of the finest cemetery/arboretums in the U.S.:

Cave Hill Cemetery & Arboretum in Louisville, Kentucky

http://cavehillcemetery.com/

Ferncliff Cemetery & Arboretum in Springfield, Ohio

http://www.ferncliffcemetery.org/

Lexington Cemetery in Lexington, Kentucky

http://www.lexcem.org/

Mount Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge, Massachusetts

http://www.mountauburn.org/

Old City Cemetery in Lynchburg, Virginia

http://www.oldcitycemetery.com/

Spring Grove Cemetery & Arboretum in Cincinnati, Ohio

http://www.springgrove.org/

Valley Cemetery &Arboretum, Manchester, New Hampshire

http://www.valley-cemetery.com/

Courtesy Woodland cemetery

Woodland Cemetery & Arboretum in Dayton, Ohio

http://www.woodlandcemetery.org/

Woodside Cemetery and Arboretum in Middletown, Ohio

http://www.woodsidecemetery.org/

The bottom line for cemetery planting is – never plant without first consulting the cemetery office or cemetery trustee.  If you are given permission to plant, remember it is your responsibility to keep the plant maintained.  Make sure to have your planting choices approved by cemetery management.  Some plants can become invasive and are not well suited for this type of area.  Plants that have a long life or that are considered evergreen may be more appropriate, or annuals may be best suited for your circumstances.  

Or, you may decide that a flower carved into stone is the choice you want - no upkeep, always in bloom.

Regardless, well-planted, maintained and landscaped cemeteries are beautiful to visit, providing a serene experience for family and loved ones, tombstone tourists, and horticultural sightseers to share.

~ Joy

Daffodils in the Cemetery

It is spring – the season of the daffodil!  Known by many names including narcissus, jonquil, paperwhites, and Lenten lily – the daffodil is the harbinger of warmer weather. Daffodils come in a variety of colors, yellow, white, green, pink, red, orange and some interesting variations.  The small bulbs are planted in the autumn and are native to Europe, Asia and North Africa.  The daffodil is the national flower of Wales.

Daffodils are a favorite cemetery flower, etched on stones and found growing throughout graveyards.  One variety, known as Twin Sisters or Cemetery Ladies, can be found in many older cemeteries throughout the country, originally planted by family members as a living tribute to their loved ones.   

Old City Cemetery located in Lynchburg, Virginia, http://www.gravegarden.org/ is known as the oldest continuously operated public cemetery in that state, established in 1806.   This cemetery has a large collection of antique daffodils and is highly regarded for maintaining their daffodils collections throughout the years.

Lake View Cemetery in Cleveland, Ohio, http://www.lakeviewcemetery.com is known for their ‘Daffodil Hill’ which includes over 100-thousand bulbs.  

Willowbrook Cemetery in Westport, Connecticut http://www.willowbrookcemetery.com is planting daffodils each year in order to create ‘Daffodil Mile.’  So far over 9-thousand bulbs have been planted from donor contributions.

Cemetery daffodils symbolize grace, beauty, deep regard, mortality, the death of a youth, new beginnings, innocence and unrequited love, making them very popular as part of the silent language depicted on stones.

Poet William Wordsworth wrote an ode to daffodils in 1804.  Known as one of his most famous poems, it was inspired by a walk he took with his sister in 1802.

                          I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud

I wandered lonely as a Cloud


That floats on high o'er Vales and Hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd

A host of dancing Daffodils;


Along the Lake, beneath the trees,


Ten thousand dancing in the breeze.



The waves beside them danced, but they


Outdid the sparkling waves in glee: --


A poet could not but be gay


In such a laughing company:

I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought

What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft when on my couch I lie


In vacant or in pensive mood,


They flash upon that inward eye


Which is the bliss of solitude,

And then my heart with pleasure fills,


And dances with the Daffodils.

Now off to ‘dance with the Daffodils’ in our tiny rural cemetery, just up the road.  Enjoy your weekend!

~ Joy