Planning a Cemetery Trip

There comes a time when a trip to the cemetery is in order to advance your genealogy research.  Some people take it as par for the course; others dread the thought, and then there are those of us who don’t need any excuse to set out for a cemetery.  But in order to make this a worthwhile adventure, there are some points to remember.

Getting Ready

Start with Research -

Find out what county the cemetery you’ll be visiting is located in. Discover what type of cemetery it is, rural, suburban, urban and plan accordingly.

Here are just a few sites to help you find a cemetery:

Find A Grave:         http://www.findagrave.com/

Interment              http://www.interment.net/

RootsWeb               http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/

USGenWeb             http://www.usgenweb.org/

If it is a city cemetery, you will be contacting the cemetery sexton/superintendent or cemetery staff for information.

If it is a small, rural cemetery or one not found on the Internet, the county trustee is whom you should search for. 

If it is a church cemetery, you will need to locate the current clergy for information.

If it is a private cemetery, you will have to discover who owns the land and get their permission to enter.

Check with the county library, local genealogical and historical societies, and local funeral homes for cemetery locations and directions. Remember too, these are great resources to check out for records on your ancestors while you’re in the neighborhood.  Even local newspapers may provide obits with a mention of the cemetery.

But be aware of the spelling of a cemetery name – locals may pronounce and spell the cemetery name differently than others.  Both sets of my great grandparents are buried in Bedell Cemetery, far out in the country in southwestern Indiana.   In my research I’ve found the name spelled as Beadle – Beedle – Biddle, all indicating the same cemetery 

Now that you have a physical address, get a map and directions.  Many cemeteries have maps on their web sites.  Plan to use your GPS or get a map from the Internet.  Two great map resources are:

MapQuest:              http://www.mapquest.com/

Google Maps:          http://maps.google.com/

 Plan, Plan, Plan –

Decide what you want to accomplish.  Are you looking to confirm birth and death dates?  Do you want an actual photo of the grave?  Is this your chance to look at burial and plat records?  Once you know why you’re going to the cemetery, what you’re looking for and how to achieve it, you will find that you get much more done. 

Schedule Appointments – 

If you intend to speak with the cemetery sexton, cemetery trustee or funeral home personal, set an appointment. Schedule time if you want to look through the burial records, cemetery deeds or see death certificates. Most of these people will be happy to meet and talk with you, but please have the courtesy to work with their schedules.

What To Take

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words -

Take a digital camera, an extra memory card and LOTS of batteries.  While stone rubbings and transcribing stones may be useful, you can’t argue with a photo.  This is exactly what was engraved on the stone. Be sure to get at least two shots of each stone.  One should be a long shot to include the general area and the other a close up.  You may also want to zoom in on symbols or epitaphs in order to see them better.  

Always check the backs of stones for any additional information recorded there. Go ahead and shoot surrounding stones.  These could be unknown children, in-laws or neighbors.  And be sure to shoot all of the stones you find that have the surnames you’re searching for.

Pack Your Bag -

Grab a reusable shopping bag and make it your ‘cemetery bag.’  In it, be sure to include a soft paintbrush for dusting grass and dirt off of stones, a soft toothbrush for cleaning out mud-filled lettering, and a spray bottle filled with water.  This will help to clear soil from the stone and allow for easier reading of inscriptions. Pack a notebook or cemetery log to record findings and descritions. Ancestry Printing offers a detailed downloadable cemetery log for free at: http://www.ancestryprinting.com/cemetery%20log.pdf

Also be sure to take some food and water.  Nothing fancy, unless you’re planning a picnic.  Crackers or granola/candy bars are fine, just something to take the edge off of hunger.  And take plenty of bottled water to keep hydrated.

C’mon Partner –

Be smart!  Ask a friend to go along.  While we tend to think of cemeteries as peaceful, quiet vistas, you will find some located in remote, isolated areas, or in questionable urban locations. If the area does not look safe to you – DO NOT continue on. Follow your instincts.

Do not keep anything of value (computers, cameras) within sight in your vehicle.  If you intend to wander far, lock your vehicle and set your alarm. Be aware of your surroundings and those around you.  Be sure you have a charged cell phone on you at all times.  If you have to go alone, tell someone where you will be and when you will return.   ALWAYS REMEMBER - it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Dress Accordingly –

Wear comfortable clothing and dress for the weather.  You’ll more than likely be wandering around all day, so wear comfortable shoes and jeans.  During the warmer months, take a long sleeved shirt or jacket with you.  Carry insect repellent, keep an eye out for snakes, and do a tick and chigger check when you get home.

 The Cemetery

At the Gate -

Before you enter, take a photo of the cemetery sign and any buildings located at the entrance.  This will help you keep locations straight and provide you with a great record of your trip.  If there is a cemetery office, stop in and see what resources they offer.  Check for maps, brochures, notable burials, any tours offered, and get the general history of the cemetery.

Once, from the Top -

Take the time to make a general drive or walk through the cemetery before you get involved in your research.  That way, you know the general layout and have a feel for your surroundings. Find out the cemetery hours and abide by them.

Be Respectful –

Remember, you are in a cemetery.  Treat stones and markers with care.  If a service is going on near your destination, show respect and reroute until it is over.  Avoid doing anything that could damage stones, trees or plantings.  Check with the cemetery office regarding the rules.  Some cemeteries will not allow picnics, pets or photography!

Be Skeptical –

 Just because something is engraved on a stone does not make it so.  Check your cemetery findings against primary sources when you get home.  Gravestones can contain mistakes, just like any other secondary source.

Have FUN!

Take time to admire what’s there.  If the cemetery offers walking or driving tour maps, grab one and get going.  Once your research is done, plan some time to just enjoy being outdoors.  Shoot what you find interesting.  You will be amazed at what you can find in a cemetery – exquisite artwork, interesting architecture, landscaped grounds, poems and prose, the rich and famous; you can make it a day’s worth of interesting and enjoyable pursuits with a little planning.

It’s the weekend – go visit a cemetery!

~ Joy

Serene and Evergreen - Cemeteries Allowing Plants & Flowers

The planting of flowers, shrubs or trees at the site of a loved one’s grave goes far back into history.  Plantings were used as a way to mark where the grave was or as a way to honor the deceased with a favorite flower or tree.  Cedar trees were planted to keep some color in a graveyard year-round. According to Purdue University Extension Horticultural Education and International Arborist Larry Caplan, “Evergreens are frequently used in cemeteries because they remain green and living all year round.  Visitors want to feel the concept of “rebirth” or “eternal life” that evergreens represent.”

There was a time when cemeteries allowed the planting of trees, plants and flowers at a gravesite, especially those small, country graveyards and the Rural or Garden cemeteries of the 1800’s.  Families would plant flowers, shrubs and trees as a permanent memorial to a loved one.  They would also take the time to tend the plantings and do the general upkeep of trimming and pruning required. But now, things are different.  While some cemeteries still allow planting to be done.  More and more are refusing such requests.

So why was the practice of cemetery plantings discontinued? Cemeteries without sufficient grounds crews do not want the added work of tending to plantings around graves.  Many plants will spread quickly if not tended regularly.  Families usually plant and then forget to do the general up-keep.  To make life easier on everyone involved, many cemeteries now offer an option to purchase a bush or tree in a selected area as a remembrance of your loved one or family.  The cemetery will have a list of pre-approved plantings or may allow the family to make a different choice, if approved by the cemetery before planting.

There are several plants that lend themselves nicely to cemetery planting.  These include some of the traditional favorites that you see in the older cemeteries and graveyards, peonies, lilies, hostas, irises, yucca, roses, tulips and daffodils. Most graveyards and cemeteries include cedar trees, yew trees, and firs, those that represent the ‘evergreen’ design.   Maples, oaks and elms are also favorite cemetery trees due to the longevity, hardiness and their beautiful autumn colors.

There are convenient ways to plant flowers at a grave.  Annuals will stand a better chance of surviving lawnmowers and weed eaters if planted directly in front or behind the stone.  If perennial bulbs or shrubs are allowed, they usually are placed at the side or sides of the grave marker.  There are now stones that allow for plantings as part of the marker with a planting strip left open to the soil below.  Maintenance, including weeding and deadheading, is the family’s responsibility. 

There are cemeteries around the country that are designated arboretums and horticultural hotspots.  These maintain a serene and tranquil look and feel of being more than just a cemetery.  Many have tree and flower maps so that visitors may tour the grounds, looking for specific trees and plantings.  These cemeteries encourage visitors to enjoy the park-like atmosphere by providing walking trails, small ponds with fountains, and well-landscaped grounds and flowerbeds.  Here are some of the finest cemetery/arboretums in the U.S.:

Cave Hill Cemetery & Arboretum in Louisville, Kentucky

http://cavehillcemetery.com/

Ferncliff Cemetery & Arboretum in Springfield, Ohio

http://www.ferncliffcemetery.org/

Lexington Cemetery in Lexington, Kentucky

http://www.lexcem.org/

Mount Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge, Massachusetts

http://www.mountauburn.org/

Old City Cemetery in Lynchburg, Virginia

http://www.oldcitycemetery.com/

Spring Grove Cemetery & Arboretum in Cincinnati, Ohio

http://www.springgrove.org/

Valley Cemetery &Arboretum, Manchester, New Hampshire

http://www.valley-cemetery.com/

Courtesy Woodland cemetery

Woodland Cemetery & Arboretum in Dayton, Ohio

http://www.woodlandcemetery.org/

Woodside Cemetery and Arboretum in Middletown, Ohio

http://www.woodsidecemetery.org/

The bottom line for cemetery planting is – never plant without first consulting the cemetery office or cemetery trustee.  If you are given permission to plant, remember it is your responsibility to keep the plant maintained.  Make sure to have your planting choices approved by cemetery management.  Some plants can become invasive and are not well suited for this type of area.  Plants that have a long life or that are considered evergreen may be more appropriate, or annuals may be best suited for your circumstances.  

Or, you may decide that a flower carved into stone is the choice you want - no upkeep, always in bloom.

Regardless, well-planted, maintained and landscaped cemeteries are beautiful to visit, providing a serene experience for family and loved ones, tombstone tourists, and horticultural sightseers to share.

~ Joy

Burial Customs of Different World religions

We have been burying our dead for over 200-thousand years.  But why do we mainly choose interment?  There are several reasons given for this practice.  Respect for the dead is the number one reason – not concern about decay, disease, or scavengers.  Burial is a manner in which to show respect or esteem for the deceased. Burial is also seen as a means of closure, the end of life as we know it and a time to move on for family and friends.  Religions and cultures that believe in an afterlife sometimes feel that burial is necessary to help the deceased go forward toward another phase of their life. 

Tree Burials

Cave Entrance

There are many forms of entombment.  In ancient times burials took place in earthen mounds, caverns or caves.  Burial practices around the world include many different methods.  The Japanese do not bury, they cremate.  Most American Indian tribes buried their dead in mounds, but the Plains Indians did not.  Instead they performed aboveground burials where the body was placed on a scaffold, in a tree or a canoe and left to decay.  In Tibet, a sky burial is similar, except that the body is cut up and prepared to become food for the vultures before being placed on a mountaintop.  

Coffin Burial at Sea

With the sea burial of Osama bin Laden almost two weeks ago; I became curious as to how different and varied burial practices were between various religions.  Today, we’ll look at five religions and three denominations to learn how each regards the practice of caring for the deceased body.

Buddhist at Prayer

Buddhist  - The majority of Buddhists have the body cremated.  Before cremation a white cloth may be offered on behalf of the dead. The deceased can be dressed in simple clothes.  The funeral hall where the body lies for services should be simple and peaceful.  An alter may be set in front of the coffin and a photo of the deceased placed there during the funeral ceremony. A Buddha image should also be set up in front of the casket.  A monk may be invited to perform the Buddhist rites, or friends may conduct the services. 

Cremation

The casket is then sealed and taken to its final destination.  If burying, the coffin is then lowered into the ground.  If cremating, the casket is placed into the furnace. The decision to bury or cremate is a personal choice.  Either is acceptable in Buddhism. 

Hindu Funeral Procession

Hindu  - Hindu funerals and burials have changed over the centuries.  Bodies were originally given a sky burial – left for the vultures, or buried in the ground or a cave.  Now cremation rituals and post cremation observances have become the preferred method.  Hindu funeral rites depend on one’s social class or caste.  There are rites, which are performed when the person is dying, rites when the body is disposed of, and rites, which enable the soul to transcend to the realm of the ancestors. 

For a Hindu funeral, the deceased is placed on the floor with the head pointing to the south, the direction of the dead.  An oil lamp is placed near the body and kept burning for three days.  The body is then washed in purified water, dressed in new clothes and adorned with flowers.  After being placed on a stretcher, it is transported to the cremation site.

Funeral Pyre

A pyre is built near a river and the corpse is laid with its feet facing southward.  Once fire consumes the body a 13-day mourning period begins for the family.  The preta-karma is a very important aspect of the Hindu funeral.  It is during this rite that the soul moves from the preta (ghost) stage to live with the ancestors.  The rites can last up to ten days.  It is then believed that the preta has joined the ancestors and can be worshipped during the sraddha ceremonies.

Funeral Prayers

Islam – Muslims believe that a person’s life does not end at death, so you must pray that their eternal life will be a happy one.  Muslims prefer to bury as soon as possible after death, thereby avoiding embalming or other methods of preservation, which disturb the body.  Cremation is forbidden.

Men at Burial Location

When someone dies family members or others in the community wash the body and shroud it in a clean white cloth.  (Martyrs are buried in the clothes they died in.)  The deceased is then taken to the location where funeral prayers will be said.  This is usually held outdoors.

Muslim Cemetery

After prayers, the body is taken to the cemetery for burial.  Only the men of the community accompany the body to the burial grounds. The body is placed in the grave, on its right side, with the head facing toward Mecca. Gravestones are discouraged but if the family insists, markers must be simple and not over 12 inches tall.

Regarding a Muslim burial at sea, the body should be wrapped in a white cloth, prayers should be said and the body lowered into the sea with weights on the feet.  This is allowed when a death has occurred at sea or when there is concern about the body being exhumed and defiled.

Christian – Christian burials also involve many rites, depending on the type of Christian religion practiced.  Those of the Christian faith prefer to be buried, usually in sacred ground, such as a churchyard.  Only recently have Protestants and Catholics allowed cremation.  The Eastern Orthodox Church still forbids it.

Catholic Funeral Mass

Catholics -  The Catholic religion requires a church funeral made up of three stages - prayers, a funeral Mass and prayers for absolution.  These prayers do not forgive the deceased’s sins but ask for mercy regarding the soul when in purgatory.

The body is then taken to the burial ground where the tomb is blessed; the body sprinkled with holy water and a final prayer said.

Eastern Orthodox – The Eastern Orthodox religion has five different funeral services, depending on the deceased’s station in life.  Immediately after death the First Pannikhida is celebrated.  This is a memorial service for the deceased.  The body is then washed and dressed for burial by family and friends.  A wake is held with family members taking turns reading the psalms until it is time to take the body to graveyard.

Services usually take place at the churchyard for individuals.  At the gravesite, prayers are said, hymn and psalms chanted. Bells are then tolled, the coffin is nailed shut and a choir chants as the body is lowered in to the earth. 

Eastern Orthodox Church

If the deceased’s grave is not near where they died, or a special service is being held to honor all of the departed, then a memorial srvice is held at the church.  Hymns for the departed are chanted, a litany is read and the funeral service begins.  The service may last up to two and a half hours.

Protestants – There are many denominations of the protestant religion.  Most funerals are simple in nature.  After death, the body is transported to a funeral home where it is embalmed and prepared for burial. The dressing of the body usually involves a suit for men and a dressy outfit for women.  

Outdoor Funeral

The body is then placed in the coffin and arranged for the visitation or viewing by family, friends and acquaintances.  A visitation may remain private, depending on what the family requests.  Services are usually held at the funeral home chapel, or at the church the deceased attended, with a minister presiding.  Protestants may decide to skip the funeral home viewing and service, and hold graveside services instead. For chapel services, a singer and organist provide hymns.    After the minister has spoken, male family members or close friends will bear the casket out to the hearse.  Family members and friends accompany the coffin to the cemetery.  The casket bearers will then deliver the coffin to the gravesite.  The minister will decree the body to the earth and God and final prayers are said. 

Jewish – For a Jewish burial the body is prepared by washing, purification and dressing in traditional burial clothes.  Burial will occur as soon as possible after death.  Embalming is forbidden, as is cremation. The coffin is then prepared by removing any linings and ornamentation.  A sheet and prayer shawl is placed in the coffin and the deceased is then wrapped in both.  The coffin is closed and sealed. The chevra, which asks for forgiveness from the deceased for anything they may have done to offend, is said.  Once at the burial site, prayers and psalms are said.  Then mourners step forward one-by-one to help fill in the grave with a shovel full of soil.

Have a great weekend!

~ Joy