Memorial Day Memories

As a child, I remember going with my grandmother to the cemetery to "decorate the graves" as she called it. It was just something you did for the dead - cleaned off the stones, trimmed back the grass around "their patch," and lay fresh flowers on their graves. Although I was young and not much help, Grandma took me and let me play among the graves as she went about her work.

This may be where my interest in cemeteries began. I remember walking along the graves and being fascinated with the names: Aloysius, Edwina, Victoria, Nathanial. They all sounded charming yet old fashioned. As I figured out the ages of death from those stones, I wondered about the lives of the people with whose names. Had they married? Did they have children? Had they been happy? Had they had a good life? And then there were the epitaphs: Dear Brother, Remembered Aunt, Beloved Wife, and Our Baby – those were the stones that always gave me pause. It was the realization that, yes, children just like me could die. 

My grandmother told me stories about the family members she tended. “This was your great-great grandmother, this was my brother, this was your grandpa’s dad.” All these years later, I wish I had paid more attention to these family reminisces. If only I'd known how important they'd become ...

Today, the cemetery still holds sway over me. There is still that sense of discovery and surprise as I enter hallowed ground, wondering just what I’ll find beyond that fence, those gates, up the lane.

While the day will always make me nostalgic for those mornings with Grandma, Memorial Day also seems to be the perfect time to start the search, or recommit to discovering your family history. Their stories are out there, all we have to do is begin our search, and what could be nicer on a warm spring day than a stroll through the cemetery.

~ Joy

Memorial Day Weekend and a Hearse Cruise

It is Memorial Day weekend – a time when we remember those who died fighting for our country. Maybe you have a trip planned to a local cemetery for a Memorial Day service, or to, as my grandmother called it, “decorate the graves.”

Spirit of Vincennes Rendezvous

Of course this is the “first weekend of summer” giving us a chance to get out and go to a festival, a wine tasting, or a battle. But here is an option that I’d love to see, if only it were closer …

If you are of “a certain age,” you will remember those Friday and Saturday nights during your high school years when you cruised the local hot-spots in town. For those of us in the cemetery world, cruising is still popular, only this time it’s in a hearse!

This Memorial Day weekend, the Second Annual Northern Michigan Hearse Cruise will take place. Starting off from Gaylord, Michigan around 9 a.m., the cruise will travel to Mancelona and stop for two hours to visit with locals and allow folks to see the cars, then it’s on to Kalkaska for another two hour visit before ending at Traverse City Saturday evening.

Those taking part in this cruise include funeral directors, cemetery personnel and those who just love the vehicle. Drivers come from across the U.S. to spend some time with like-minded people who appreciate the hearse and its history. What another cool way to spend the weekend.

Whatever you do, have a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend!

~ Joy

Memorial Day - The Way One Man Remembers Throughout the Year

Monday, May 27^th is Memorial Day in the U.S., a  day set aside to remember those who have died while in the service of this country.

Larry Eckhardt

But it doesn’t have to be Memorial Day for an Illinois man to honor fallen military men and women.  Larry Eckhardt has traveled over 72,000 miles, given out over 70,000 small flags, and been assisted by over 30,000 volunteers in the past seven years, as he's paid tribute to our fallen soldiers.

Eckhardt of Little York, Illinois goes to as many Midwestern communities as he can, and lines the funeral procession route of fallen Armed Forces personnel with American flags. 

Eckhardt began his ‘mission’ in 2006. With the help of the American Legion, Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW), and private donations, he has collected over 3,000 flags over the past seven years.

When Eckhardt finds out about the death of a military person from the Midwest, he takes his trailer, loaded with flags, to that community.

Volunteers from the area assist him in lining a mile or more of the funeral route with American flags mounted on 10-foot steel poles.  Eckhardt sees this as a way of honoring those who have served our country and paid the ultimate sacrifice.

Afterward, volunteers help take the flags down.  Eckhardt gives credit to all who assist, saying he couldn’t do it without the local volunteers. His helpers have ranged from the ages of 3 to 93, and the “Flag Man” appreciates them all.

Surprisingly, Eckhardt was never in the military.  He simply feels that this is a way he can honor those who have died in the line of duty.  He has paid tribute to over 100 service personnel: sailors, soldiers, airmen, and Marines.

Eckhardt came up with the idea after attending a local funeral in Galesburg, Illinois a few years ago.  The community showed up to support the family and pay their respects, but there were few flags flying. And, as a symbol of our country, something these service members pledged allegiance to, it seemed to Larry that something major was missing.

So he purchased 150 flags and began taking them to area military funerals, putting them out along the funeral route. Eckhardt uses donations and his own money to pay for the flags, and his travel expenses, because he feels that this is how every fallen American soldier should be honored.  As he sees it, there can never be too many flags for a soldier.

When in a community, Eckhardt does not attend the funerals or meet the families. He feels that his job is to line the funeral route with flags as a way to express the country’s appreciation for service well done.

Communities have expressed tremendous gratitude for his “labor of love.” Military families have been amazed and touched by his generosity of spirit, and his depth of caring for their fallen sons and daughters.

DAR Award

Eckhardt tends to shun the spotlight. But regardless of his wishes, he has been recognized by several groups and has received the Medal of Honor from the Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR) and a Patriotic Citizens Award from the VFW in Illinois.

Now citizens across the country are banding together to request that Eckhardt be honored with one of the highest awards in the country.  Doug Hesler has started a Facebook page called, ‘Larry Eckhardt ‘The Flagman’ @ https://www.facebook.com/LarryEckhardtTheFlagman.  Hesler is hoping that enough people will contact the President and the White House that Larry will be honored with the Presidential Citizens Medal.

Presidential Citizens Medal

This award is the second highest civilian award given in the U.S. (The first is the Presidential Medal of Freedom.)  President Richard Nixon established the Presidential Citizens Medal in 1969 to acknowledge outstanding U.S. citizens.  The medal may be granted to any American citizen “who (has) performed exemplary deeds or services for his or her country or fellow citizens"

If you are interested supporting this initiative, contact White House.  You may send your request to President Obama @ http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact/submit-questions-and-comments

Or you can send a request to Vice President Joe Biden @ http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact/submit-questions-and-comments/vp

You may mail a request to:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500
Please include your e-mail address

Eckhardt has hopes that there are others throughout the country who will take this idea and organize similar groups.  If you would like to learn what you, or your group, could do to volunteer assistance with the flags, start a group, or to make a donation, contact Larry at

Larry Eckhardt

323 South Broadway, Apt 1-S

Little York, IL  61453

Memorial Day is a time when we remember those who have died in the service of our country. Each Memorial Day the flag is raised to full staff, then lowered to half-staff in remembrance of more than one million men and women who have died in the service of this country.  At Noon, the flag is raised to full staff to signify a nation that will rise up and continue to fight for liberty and justice, for all.

As we've seen, just one person, rising up, can make a difference. Thanks for the reminder, Larry!

~ Joy

The Reason for Memorial Day

In the U.S., we celebrate Memorial Day on the last Monday of May. But over the years the real reason for the observance has been diminished.  It is not about having a three-day weekend or the opening of the pool; it’s also not about having a parade, watching the Indy 500 or the ‘official’ start of summer.  It is a day set aside to remember and honor those who sacrificed their lives, fighting in wars, for this country’s freedom.

John A. Logan

Decoration Day was officially decreed on May 5, 1868 by General John A. Logan, the first Commander in Chief of the Grand Army of the Republic, to honor those who died fighting in the Civil War. It was first observed that same year, on May 30th at Arlington Cemetery when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers. Many women’s groups took up the practice of decorating the graves of the war dead with flowers and flags each May 30^th, thereafter. 

In a speech given at Arlington Cemetery in 1870, Logan asked, “Shall we, the freest of all nations, in our paradise of liberty feel less patriotic fire in our breasts...? Shall we neglect the graves of those who sacrificed their lives to defend the palladium of our liberty, to perpetuate our national unity, and shield our rights forever? ...”

By 1882 the name Memorial Day was being used interchangeably with Decoration Day.  By 1890, every state in the north had declared Memorial Day as an official holiday.

The South, however, refused to acknowledge Memorial Day, insisting on honoring their dead on other days throughout the spring.  After World War I, the observance was declared to be in honor and remembrance of all who died fighting for America in any war. Though many states in the South still have a separate day to honor the Confederate dead, Memorial Day is now observed throughout the country on the last Monday in May.

At the start of the twentieth century, Memorial Day had evolved into an occasion to remember not only the war dead, but deceased family members and ancestors as well.  Buggies were hitched up, picnic baskets were prepared, and flowers were gathered for the journey to the cemetery to decorate the graves of loved ones and soldiers, alike.

VFW Buddy Poppies

During WWI, Moina Michael started the tradition of wearing a red poppy in honor of those who died during war.  In 1922, just before Memorial Day, the VFW (Veterans of Foreign Wars) organization became the first war veterans group to sell red poppies nationally. 

In the late 1950’s, the 3^rd U.S. Infantry began placing small American flags by each of the gravestones at Arlington National Cemetery.  The practice continues today with over 260,000 flags being posted, one by each grave.  Communities and cemeteries across the country hold similar ceremonies, including the laying of wreathes, the placing of flags and the lighting of candles – all in remembrance and in honor of those who died while in military service.

In 1967, the name was officially changed from Decoration Day to Memorial Day. Then in 1968, Congress passed the National Holiday Act, which specified that Memorial Day, Veteran’s Day and Washington’s Birthday would always fall on a Monday, thereby ensuring convenient three-day weekends.  The law took effect in 1971 marking Memorial Day as an official federal holiday. There have been attempts by several organizations and some political officials to return to the traditional date of May 30^th, but the proposed revisions do not appear to have had much support.

On May 30, 1870, General Logan gave an address in honor of the new commemorative holiday. In it he said: 

"This Memorial Day, on which we decorate their graves with the tokens of love and affection, is no idle ceremony with us, to pass away an hour; but it brings back to our minds in all their vividness the fearful conflicts of that terrible war in which they fell as victims.... Let us, then, all unite in the solemn feelings of the hour, and tender with our flowers the warmest sympathies of our souls! Let us revive our patriotism and love of country by this act, and strengthen our loyalty by the example of the noble dead around us...."

This weekend, when we gather with friends for the first picnic of the summer, when we watch the Indy 500, when we go to the weekend’s parade or festival, let us consider the real reason for this day and take a moment to remember those who have served, and honor those who lost their lives in service to our country.  Memorial Day is not just a day of celebration – but also a day to celebrate being American! And for remembering the price other Americans have paid.

~ Joy