Women as Mourners

(Apologies for the delay in this post, I was in Lexington, but my blog copy was not : )

Women have always been the expressers of emotions.  We are the ones who oversee the major passages that occur in life – the births, the marriages, the sicknesses, the deaths, each with its own rituals that women have performed for eons.  Death, in every culture, has always had many special rites and women have had the distinct responsibility of attending to that province.

In ancient Greece, women mourners performed the funeral dirge at a person’s death.

In ancient Rome, female mourners would be hired to keep long vigils while the body lay in state and then accompany it to its final resting place.

In ancient Egypt, women hired as mourners followed the funeral procession, wailing loudly. They were also depicted on the tomb walls.

In ancient Israel, women were the ones who prepared the body for burial, as we have though the ages, in all cultures.

In Ireland, women mourners would keen over the body.  This keening was more of a poetic nature set to a vocal wail while the women would rock or clap.

In China, women mourners are still hired today to show respect for the deceased and to help guide the grieving emotions of those attending.

Known as professional mourners, wailers, criers, weepers, keeners and carpideiras, these women were hired to lament the deceased with loud weeping, wailing, hair-pulling, clothes-tearing, even tambourine and chest beating, depending on the dead’s status and the amount of money invested in the mourning. This was done to encourage others to join in with organized, rhythmic expressions of grief.  In some countries, a hired mourner expressed all of the grief that the family could not bring themselves to do in public.

Demonstrative mourners were hired to attend the funeral services, to weep and chant.   The funeral procession not only bore the deceased to their final resting place, it also was a public display of their status in life. Hired mourners would take part in the procession, wailing and grieving, in an organized manner, as benefited the standing of the deceased.

Hired female mourners are depicted throughout literature.  From the Iliad to the Bible to Shakespeare, women have held the role of lamenter and griever.  Even in the cemetery, it is the women who stand over the graves, heads bowed, faces bearing sorrow and anguish, silently lamenting someone’s passing.

Professional mourners were used in Europe until the early nineteenth century, when they were replaced by the funeral mute.  The funeral mute was someone with a sad, melancholy face, dressed all in black, who would stand near the door of the home or church during the funeral to express grief.  They would walk behind the horse-drawn hearse, with a grieving, albeit, silent face.

The professional mourner and the public display of such emotions fell out of favor with the Catholic church and they began to suppress them.  Female mourners were replaced by religious figures such as priests intoning similar elegies and dirges, leading chants and funeral hymns, and heading up the religious procession to the burial grounds. In today’s contemporary world, funeral directors and undertakers have taken on the role as professional mourners, organizing the grieving process for families and leading the way to the cemetery. The only thing missing from our modern funeral mourners are the appearances of grief, and the tears.

Today in China, Taiwan, Brazil and Africa, female mourners are still hired to wail and grieve for the deceased.  But, during the past century, the world has changed its views regarding the vocal lamenting of grief and death.  We have become a quiet, stoic society. The tradition of the professional mourner has almost died out.  But the statue of the female mourner, I suspect, will always be there watching over us with saddened and sorrowful eyes.

~ Joy

Grave Superstitions

Today is the ‘Ides of March’ and that seems the perfect time to cover grave superstitions.  A soothsayer, who knew what he was talking about, gave the warning “Beware the Ides of March” to Julius Caesar. Caesar was stabbed 23 times on March 15^th, 44 B.C. by 60 senators – including his best friend, Marcus Julius Brutus, (“Et tu Brute?” –Thank you William Shakespeare.)

My grandmother, Ethyl France Dellinger & Florrie.

Superstitions are actually beliefs we hold without any true or rational basis, beliefs that may be exaggerated or simply false. Superstitions exist for all aspects of life – love, luck, weddings, pregnancy, money, theatre, weather, and, of course, death.  They are passed on from person to person, generation to generation. Call them old wives tales, folklore or prophecy, superstitions foretell or fore sway future events. Growing up in Indiana, I learned my fair share of ‘tall tales.’  My grandmother, Ethyl Dellinger, passed on many family superstitions to me.  Some that I remember that had to do with death include:

Never county the number of cars in a funeral procession. 

(I was a notorious counter.)

Never point at a funeral procession, its bad luck.

Never take flowers from a grave.

If you spill salt, immediately throw some over your left shoulder to keep the Devil at bay.

An owl hooting outside of your window for three nights in a row foretells a death – yours of someone close to you.

Here are some other death superstitions you may have heard.

Death superstitions involving nature:

Flowers will grow on the grave of someone who lived a good line.  Only weeds grow on the grave of someone who was evil.

If a bird flies into your window, there has been a death.

If you see an owl during the day, there will be a death close to you.

An owl hooting outside of your window for three nights in a row foretells a death, yours of someone close to you.

If lightening strikes near the house when someone is dying, the devil has come for their soul.

If it rains in an open grave, it’s bad luck for the family.

If there is a thunderstorm during a funeral, the deceased has gone to hell.

If there is thunder following a burial then the deceased has reached heaven.

Physical death superstitions:

Hold your breath when passing a graveyard so evil can’t enter. 

Another version is:  If you don’t hold your breath when passing a cemetery, you will not be buried.

If you have an involuntary shiver, someone has just walked over your grave.

If you cast a headless shadow then you will die in the next year.

If you lie down in a coffin you are taunting death to come and take you.

Never whistle in a graveyard, you are summoning the Devil.

Never wear anything new to a funeral.  (Shoes seem to have particular significance.)

Coins should be placed on the eyes of the deceased to pay the ferryman, Charon, to row the departed across the underworld river Styx.

Death superstitions in your home:

Howling dogs in the night signify that someone ill in the house will die soon.

If a picture suddenly falls off of the wall, someone you know has died.

You should stop all clocks in the house where someone dies or it will bring bad luck.

Open a window in the room when someone dies so that they can move on.

Cover all mirrors after a death – so that the soul doesn’t get trapped in them.

A casket must be carried out with the deceased’s feet first.

Death and the number 3:

If you hear three knocks and no one is there, someone close to you has died.

If only 3 candles are lit in a room, the person closest to the shortest candle will be the first to die.

Death comes in threes.

Death superstitions about the graveyard:

A metal cross on a grave will hold the spirit there.

A body should be placed in the grave with its head to the west and feet to the east so that when it rises up it will face the sun.

Never remove anything from a gravesite.

It is bad luck to walk on graves.

 

It is bad luck to trip when you’re in a cemetery.

Being buried on the north side of the church is considered unlucky because of the lack of sun.   That area is usually reserved for criminals and suicides.

It is bad luck to go into a cemetery at night, or to be there at the stroke of midnight.

And I just have to mention – Grave Superstitions is my 13^th blog post for A Grave Interest.  (Wish me luck while I search for that rabbit’s foot…… ; )

~ Joy