Mourning Cards: The Art of Death

When attending a funeral, you may have been given a memorial program with a picture on the front, and inside, a verse and the name of the deceased along with his or her birth and death dates, and related funeral information. This is our modern day equivalent to the mourning card.

Correct Mourning Attire

Mourning Card with Photo

Mourning cards became popular during the early 1800s. Victorian mourning customs were comprised of rituals and strict rules of etiquette. The symbols of mourning were carefully observed, and were used to denote the social standing of the family. But those of poorer means still tried to “keep up with the gentry” when it came to mourning and funeral rituals, regardless of the cost.

Funeral invitations were used during the 17^th and 18^th centuries. The cards were sent to notify family and friends when the funeral was to be held. These invitations were very important socially. A funeral invitation could actually be used like a ticket, to gain admittance to a funeral, especially if it were for someone important or well known.

Funeral Invitation

The funeral invitation was wood engraved, and featured the typical symbols of death found on tombstones: the hourglass, Father Time, the Grim Reaper, or crossed bones. Wealthier families might provide copper-engraved funeral invitations. The invitation also contained details about the departed, along with the time, date, and location of the funeral.

Attending a Funeral

By the Victorian era (1830 - 1901), the funeral invitation was no longer popular. Instead, small mourning or memorial cards were sent out after the funeral, usually to those who could not attend. Information about the funeral might also be included.

Most mourning cards were 3 by 4.5 inches, constructed from heavy card-stock, and made up of intricate, formal designs that were cut and embossed. Symbolism was very popular during the Victorian Era, and again, those gravestone symbols could be found decorating mourning cards.

Two Babies After Death

A heavy black border usually framed the card, which included the birth and death dates. Other pertinent information about the deceased might be listed, along with a prayer, poem, or sentimental words of remembrance. If the deceased were a child or young adult, many times a photo, usually taken after death, would be used.

Those with wealth might opt for a larger mourning card, measuring about 4 by 6 inches, and lettered in gold, or embossed with intricate artwork.

But regardless of size, it was expected that the mourning card would be saved and placed in an album, or hung in a frame as a keepsake. Mourning cards belonging to family members might also contain a lock of the deceased’s hair, or a button from a uniform. These items would be included in the framed presentation.

By the beginning of the 20^th century, the memorial card had been folded, with a scene on the front, and the deceased's name and information printed inside.  As this type of card became popular, all four sides contained information about the deceased, and included poems, photos, and artwork.

Today, memorial cards come in a vast variety of choices: religious, landscapes, hobbies, sports … Poems and remembrances can be selected from thousands that are available, or a personal remembrance can be written. Cards may be given out at the visitation, vigil, or wake, or be presented at the funeral or memorial service.

Today's memorial items also include bookmarks, key rings, memorial car magnets, and memory books. Funeral homes may offer these remembrances, but the family can elect to have them printed at a local printing shop, order over the internet, or create them at home on the computer.

Call them mourning cards or memorial cards; these keepsake remembrances are part of a funeral custom we continue to practice - a traditional way in which we offer a lasting tribute to those we love.

~ Joy

Exploring Funeral Home Record, Obits and Memorial Cards

Funeral home record example
from Rootsweb/Ancestry.com

Funeral home records, also known as mortuary records, are yet another overlooked resource for the genealogy researcher.  These records contain the same basic information about the deceased as the death certificate, but with more detailed family information, a copy of the obituary, possible insurance data, and financial records involving the costs relating to the funeral and burial.   Mortuary records can also assist you in locating the cemetery and the burial records held there.

Funeral home records began to be kept during the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries.  Before that the church was the repository for death records.  Funerals, wakes or remembrance events would have taken place at the home of the deceased or the village church.  Cities are more likely to have funeral home records for the late 1800’s, as rural residents continued the practice of burying their own without formal assistance until a few decades into the 20^th century.

American Blue Book
of Funeral Directors

Mortuary records are considered to be private records.  These records belong to the funeral home and do not have to be made available to the public.  If you have a copy of the death certificate, it should list the name of the funeral home that handled the arrangements.  If you do not know the name, the American Blue Book of Funeral Directors may be helpful.  If you are planning to research funeral home records at the mortuary, start by contacting the funeral home to make sure the records are still in that location. 

 

Schedule an appointment at the funeral home and let them know whose records you would like to review, dates of deaths and any other information they may need to locate the files.  If a funeral home is no longer in business, check with other mortuaries in the area to see if the records were transferred.  If not, visit the local or county genealogical or historical libraries and societies to see if the records have been moved there or if someone knows what became of them.  Many times when a funeral home closed, the director took the records home for safe keeping.

My maternal grandfather's obituary

My paternal great-grandfather's obit

When we explored death certificates and death records on Tuesday, I failed to mention that the funeral director is the person responsible for getting this certificate filled out and filed.  He or she is the person who will talk with the informant of the deceased in order to gather the required data for the certificate.  The funeral director is also the person who writes and places the obituaries with the media.  Parts of an obit may include a listing of surviving relatives consisting of the spouse, children by name and their spouses, grandchildren and their spouses and great-grandchildren, along with siblings. Those who have already passed may also be mentioned. The deceased’s age, address, occupation, religious affiliation, military service, memberships, education, accomplishments and hobbies may also be written up in an obit.  Those residents with more community prominence will usually have obits that contain more information.  Details regarding the funeral service, where it is being held and the burial location are also included in an obit.

Memorial card for
Harry 'Hap" Fleming

Information inside Hap's memorial card

Another genealogical resource associated with mortuary records is memorial cards.  Also known as prayer cards, funeral cards and holy cards, they contain information about the funeral service and burial, including the deceased’s name, birth and death dates, location of services, clergy, pallbearers, music, location of burial and usually a poem or prayer.  Memorial cards are given out at visitations, wakes and funerals.  They may also be sent after the fact to those who did not attend.   Be sure to check family bibles, photo albums and scrapbooks for them.

Next Tuesday is the Ides of March and we’ll take a look at some of the superstitions that surround death.  Please let me know of any superstitions you were taught or remember.

~ Joy