Humor in the Cemetery

Tuesday is April 1^st - April Fools’ Day.  A day celebrated around the world with jokes, hoaxes and pranks.  Also known as All Fools’ Day, the tradition is believed to have begun in France in the 1500’s.   

Although wit is not something you expect to find in a cemetery, our ancestors did have a sense of humor about life … and death. Epitaphs - those tributes and verses engraved on tombstones, can provide a bit more insight into the deceased’s character, all the while offering it with a wink and a nod.  With that in mind, here's a look at a bit of  ‘grave humor’.

In Hillside Cemetery at Eastport, Maine, Lorenzo Sabine was buried in 1877.  On his stone is one simple word,             Transplanted

Boot Hill Cemetery

Tombstone, Arizona started in 1879 as a mining boomtown that grew up quick and grew up mean.  It briefly became part of the ‘Wild West,” where cattle ranchers, cowboys and carpet baggers all held sway with a gun. It was during 1881 that Marshall Wyatt Earp and his brothers fought the cowboys at what became known as the shootout at O.K. Corral.  In the infamous Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, almost 300 of these former citizens are buried and remembered with some interesting epitaphs.

Here lies Butch.

We planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger

But slow on the draw.

Wells Fargo Agent, Lester Moore was also buried in Boot Hill with the following epitaph:

Here Lies

Lester Moore

Four slugs from a 44

No Les

No more

England is also the home of many cheeky inscriptions –

On the stone of Anna Wallace in a cemetery in Ribbesford, England is this supposed inscription:

The children of Israel wanted bread

And the Lord sent them manna

Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife

And the Devil sent him Anna

From a London cemetery comes this,

Owen Moore

Gone away

Owin’ more

Than he could pay

Even the barristers appear to have had a sense of humor.

Sir John Strange

Here lies an honest lawyer

And that is Strange

Rebecca Freeland was buried in an Edwalton, England cemetery in 1741 with this rejoinder – 

She drank good ale

Good punch and wine

And lived to the age of 99

Some cleaver epitaphs may be a bit too clever.  When I researched to locate these, I found that the cemetery locations continued to change from one state to another, from one mention to another.  But, regardless of existence, they are humorous.

Here lies the body

Of Jonathan Blake

Stepped on the gas

Instead of the brake

Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana.

It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low

But the skin of the thing that made her go.

This inscription has been reported in a cemetery in Hartscombe, England and also in New Jersey.  Same name, different days of death – in England on June 22, in New Jersey on June 30 but no year of death is given.

On June __,

Jonathan Fiddle

Went out of tune.

In Elkhart, Indiana the stone for S.B. McCracken, a teacher reads –

School is out.

Teacher has gone home.

The famous also have some epitaphs that produce chuckles –

 

Mel Blanc, the man behind hundreds of character voices for Warner Brothers Studios, went out with the tagline of every Warner Brother’s cartoon ...

That’s All Folks

American singer, actor and 50’s Rat Pack member, Frank Sinatra closed out with a line from one of his songs,

The best is yet to come

Television host and media mogul, Merv Griffin ended his life segment with –

I will not be right back

After this message.

For Spike Milligan, an Irish comedian, writer and actor,

"Duirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite"

English translation:  “I told you I was ill.”

 It is also rumored that a similar epitaph exists in an unnamed cemetery in Georgia for a B.P. Roberts with the words -

I told you I was sick.

The sudden passing of John Belushi left us with a smile –

I may be gone but

Rock and Roll lives on.

Then there are the anonymous epitaphs:

Again, from England – 

This spot is the sweetest I’ve seen in my life,

For it rises my flowers and covers my wife.

 ~

Beneath this silent stone is laid

A noisy antiquated maid

Who from her cradle talked to death

And ne’er before was out of breath.

This epitaph is seen in nineteenth century cemeteries throughout the U.S.

Behold and see as you pass by

For as you are, so once was I 


As I am now, so will you be

Prepare unto death and follow me

But someone supposedly felt a reply was needed to this plea and carved, somewhere - 

To follow you, I’ll not consent

For I don’t know which way you went.

And to close out with my favorite:

Here lies an Atheist.

All dressed up and no place to go.

Have a Happy April First, and remember in those immortal Main Ingredient song lyrics…

“Everybody plays the fool, sometimes……”

~ Joy

Grave Markers Ordered From Catalogs

Hand Carved Stone Marker

Mass Manufactured Stone

 Grave markers are the oldest form of funerary art. They have been used to mark burial locations since Celtic and Roman times.  Gravestones and memorials differ widely depending on where they are located, the status of the person buried there, when they were erected, and if they were hand carved or ordered from a catalog.

Vermont Marble Company

Flint Granite Company

When someone died, the family usually went to the local stone carver to arrange for a grave marker to be made. Those who could afford it might order markers directly from stone quarries and monument companies in other states, possibly New Hampshire or Michigan for the best blue granite, or Vermont for exceptional marble.  By ordering from the source of the stone, customers felt they were getting the best stone available.

Monument with Statue

Family Mausoleum

Affluent residents of the 1800’s through the 1920’s might have their graves marked with a large obelisk monument, a memorial with a statue, or a family mausoleum.  Ornate and elaborate grave markers could tell the story of the deceased, or showcase the family’s wealth.

Abandoned Quarry

Inside a Quarry

Markers were made from several types of stone including, field, slate, limestone, marble, and granite. Some were also created from metals such as zinc (White Bronze) or iron. Marble and granite were the most popular and durable of the stones used.  Stone markers were quarried; hand carved with hammers and chisels, polished and then shipped to the local monument company or cemetery.

Sears Roebuck Catalog

Price Information

In 1902, Sears Roebuck offered a Tombstones and Monuments catalog from which anyone could select a grave marker.  This put a reasonably priced, custom-ordered gravestone within the reach of almost everyone.

 

Workmanship Guarantee

Information on a product

Sears included a statement in the catalog that the stone used and the workmanship were both on par with the more exclusive monument and stone companies, but the prices were less expensive.  However, Sears requested that the stone be paid for in full before being shipped.

Marker for $4.88

In the 1902 catalog, Sears Roebuck prices began at $4.88 for a basic marker (without lettering, embellishments, larger stone orders, or shipping.) Sears also touted that their prices could be up to $150 less than those of a home monument company or stone carver.  The idea of ordering by catalog caught on and many people began planning what they wanted their stones to say and deciding on which one they wanted.

Catalog Tree Stone

Options Available

The Sears Roebuck catalog offered a wide variety of products to choose from. Customers could select Blue Vein Marble from Vermont or White Acme Rutland Italian Marble; granite markers were also quarried in Vermont. Upright stones and those with some small sculptures were available. Even tree stone markers could be ordered, although the more ornate stones with statues, obelisks and mausoleums were not obtainable through the Sears Roebuck catalog.

Montgomery Wards Catalog

Montgomery Wards also offered a catalog of Monuments, Tombstones and Markers.  While Sears requested payment in full before shipping, Montgomery Wards offered an easy payment plan so that “You need not leave the grave of your loved one unmarked just because you haven’t the money to pay the full price of a memorial stone.”

Red Barre Granite Markers

Symbols & Emblems

Montgomery Wards also offered stones carved in Blue Vein Marble from Vermont, along with Red or Gray Barre Vermont granite.  Lettering, symbols, and embalms were an extra charge, as were large stones, and shipping costs.

The Portrait Eternal stone was available in 1929 on which to preserve the “Likeness of Loved Ones” with a photo.

Fencing, Benches and Vases

 In the 1929 catalog, Montgomery Wards also offered iron fencing for the cemetery lot, wrought steel benches, and cemetery flower vases.

Description of Granite

J.E. Harrison & Son

Many stone and/or monument companies followed suit, offering catalogs to showcase what memorials were available and what the prices were.  Most catalogs offered marble and granite stones.

White Bronze marker

Monumental Bronze Company

The Monumental Bronze Company also offered grave markers for sale, but these consisted of their custom line of White Bronze markers.  These grave monuments were cast individually from zinc.  Each monument was made to order, then assembled and shipped from one of the company’s manufacturing plants. Sales of White Bronze monuments were popular from the 1880’s to 1914.

By the 1930’s, catalog sales of grave markers had decreased significantly.  During the Depression and war years, many people could not afford hand carved, or even mass manufactured stones.  The only option for many was to create a home-made grave marker by pouring concrete in a frame, or painting the deceased’s on a rock.

Laser Stencil

By the late 1960’s, stone carvers had become a thing of the past, and mass produced headstones were the norm.  But people no longer ordered them from catalogs.  They now went to the local monument company and selected from what stones were offered there.   

The era of individualist grave monuments; of small family mausoleums, soaring obelisks, and intricate statues was over. Catalog grave markers had heralded in a new age.

~ Joy