Showing posts with label National Funeral Directors Association. Show all posts
Showing posts with label National Funeral Directors Association. Show all posts

Friday, January 20, 2023

Grief Therapy Dogs at Funeral Homes

 

Therapy dogs have been working in the US since the 1960s, according to the Alliance of Therapy Dogs. “Animal Assisted Therapy” became an actual recognized practice in 1989, although any pet owner will tell you that simply petting a dog or cat can help calm and balance a person’s disposition.

 

Courtesy AKC

Science has shown that petting a dog has physiological effects. It can reduce stress and anxiety by helping raise a person’s levels of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. Dogs put most people at ease. They can sense when a person is unhappy and grieving, and provide comfort and unconditional love to those in need. And dogs sense who needs them most.

 

Since the turn of the 21st century, funeral homes have been offering clients the comfort and companionship of grief therapy dogs. The National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) reports that more than half of their clientele are interested in having a therapy dog present at a funeral or memorial service.

 

While the NFDA doesn’t keep track of the number of funeral homes that have working therapy dogs, it is steadily rising as the public learns to understand and accept therapy dogs in everyday life.

 

Grief therapy dogs come in all shapes and sizes. The most popular are Labradors, Labradoodles, Golden Retrievers, and Golden Doodles. But other breeds, even mixed breeds are acceptable, if trained correctly.

 

A funeral home grief therapy dog is usually owned by the funeral director, or another member of the staff. But before joining the staff, a therapy dog must be trained.

 


Ultimate Canine is one of the best training services for therapy dogs. Located near Indianapolis Indiana, the company is owned by Julie Case, who has been training dogs for nearly 30 years. Her company helps with the selection of the dog, the actual training, and certification for therapy dogs. And, there are courses for handlers.

 

According to the American Kennel Club (AKC), there is a checklist for therapy dogs working in funeral homes.

 

Some key points include being able to tolerate excessive petting, willing to sit on laps, or placing head on knees for extended periods of time. The dog shows no signs of stress, and can “work the room,” seeking out those who need them.

 

A grief therapy dog is trained in the art of comfort. The dog knows how to approach different people. While one person might simply need the dog laying by their feet, others would welcome a head in the lap, or a paw on the knee. Therapy dogs sense who would welcome more interaction and offer it. They are comfortable being held and cried on. Many times, people talk to the dogs, sharing things they would not be comfortable voicing to others.


They also provide a distraction, especially for children who may not fully understand what is happening, or who have bottled up their feelings. When the dog comes over and lays on the child’s feet, that usually opens the feelings, and kids will cry into the dog’s fur as they begin to get in touch with their feelings.

 

Funeral homes check with family to see if they want a therapy dog present during the visitation, funeral, or memorial service. Visitors are notified by a small sign at the door that indicates the family has requested a therapy dog be present.

 

Courtesy Ultimate Companion
 

Therapy dog owners always watch for signs of stress in therapy dogs after long interaction with those grieving. By visiting schools, nursing homes and other establishments, the dogs get a chance to reset and get ready for another day to share their unconditional love and comfort at the funeral home.

 

~ Joy


Friday, March 9, 2012

The Cost of Dying – Traditional Funeral Services & Burial


A Wedding
We love to plan and prepare for the major events in our lives; graduations, weddings, births, anniversaries, reunions, but when it comes to planning our death – that seems to flummox us like nothing else.  Yet, it is a major life event, and it does need our attention and planning.  Maybe now more than ever!

Invoice Example
Death is a $12 to $15-billion industry in the United States. As we continue to die, rates continue to climb.  Expenses for a funeral service can vary dramatically, depending on what type of funeral you decide on and where you are located.  According to the 2010 Funeral Price Survey by the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) http://www.nfda.org/, Americans spent, on average, $7,775.00 for an adult funeral in 2009, based on the elements of a regular, traditional funeral.

Grave monument
Opening a Grave
This does not include the cemetery costs which include the gravesite, vault, opening and closing of the grave, or the grave marker.  These charges can run another $2,000 to $3,000 for interment in  ‘regular’ cemeteries.  (Remember, the larger, more popular or exclusive a cemetery is, the higher the cost to get admitted.)  And the price of a grave marker or monument depends on what you choose.

Traditional Funeral
So what elements make up a traditional funeral?  What are you paying $7,775.00 on average, for?  Note: a funeral service involves a body being present, it occurs soon after death, and usually includes a viewing of the body.  If there is no body present – it is called a memorial service, does not require a funeral director to be involved and may be held at any time.


To begin the funeral process, you will need to pay for copies of the death certificate.  Then there’s a transportation charge to take the deceased to the funeral home of your choice. 
Studies have found that people make the decision on the funeral home based on these criteria:



Location – usually it’s the funeral home closest to them, or to where the deceased lived.

Family history – they continue to go to the funeral home the family has always used.

Personal recommendations – these are based on suggestions from friends and family. 

Funeral Planning
The National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) encourages customers (And yes, that is what you are,) to ask questions about anything you do not understand. If plans were not already in place and you are feeling stressed and emotional, ask a trusted friend to assist you in getting the funeral arrangements decided on.  A clearer head can be an asset to you and the funeral director when planning a funeral in a time of grief.  You do not necessarily have to accept the pre-bundled funeral services offered by funeral homes, although it may be easier to do so in certain circumstances .  You can pick and choose from the options available to find those that best suit your intentions and finances.

Itemized Statement
Once you have decided on the arrangements you want, the funeral home will present you with an itemized statement of the services and merchandise you have selected.  This includes an estimate of all cash advance fees paid on your behalf to third parties, such as the cemetery, organist, florist, clergy, etc.






A Funeral Cost Breakdown:

Offering Professional Services
Professional Services involve the services provided by the funeral director regarding advice, support, and dealing with third parties, external cleansing of the body, burial arrangements made with the cemetery, and securing all necessary certificates and permits.




Use of Funeral Home
Funeral Cars
Supplemental or Optional charges include transporting the deceased to the funeral home, use of the funeral home, the services of the funeral home attendants for custodial care and arranging the funeral, embalming, cosmetology, charges for the casket or urn, burial vault, obituary notices, flowers, music, prayer cards, memorial cards, acknowledgement cards, providing the hearse, and limousine or funeral cars for transportation to the cemetery for the interment.

Embalming is Optional

You do not have to have the deceased embalmed.  Embalming is never required for the first 24 hours after death. Also, you have a set amount of time to bury a body before embalming may be required according to your state law. There are several religions in the United States that do not allow a body to be embalmed.



Embalming Table
According to Funeral Consumers Alliance, http://www.funerals.org/  There is no public health purpose served by embalming.” However, the Federal Trade Commission does allow funeral homes to require embalming for public viewing.

Embalming does not preserve the body nor does it not stop decomposition.  It only slows it down for a period of time.

Caskets
One of the largest expenses of a funeral is the casket. Caskets come in all makes and models.  There are very basic caskets - the unadorned pine box, - usually running $500 to  $1,000. 


14K Gold Casket

Bronze Casket
  More detailed caskets with gaskets, seals and liners can cost up to several thousands of dollars, depending on what extras you select.  Up to $10,000 can buy a bronze casket. $40,000 or more will buy you one adorned with gold or jewels!

Here is a break down of funeral costs, provided by the National Funeral Directors Association for 2010.

Average Funeral Service Costs:








Professional Services                               $1,800
Transfer of Remains to Funeral Home       $250
Casket (Metal)                                       $2,295
Embalming                                            $628
Cosmetology                                          $200
Use of facilities/staff for viewing               $395
Use of facilities/staff for Funeral Service    $450
Use of Hearse for funeral                         $275
Use of Limo                                            $125
Service Van                                            $125
Basic Memorial Cards                               $125
Graveside Service                                    $405
Average Funeral Service Costs                $7073.00
This does not show average cost for flowers, death certificate, refrigeration fee (when embalming is not selected,) publishing obituaries, organist, clergy, etc.

Cemetery Burial Costs:
Digging a Grave by Hand
The first cost for a traditional interment is the price of the burial.  The charges associated with this include the grave opening and closing.  (Formerly known as digging the grave and filling it in.)  And there may be a charge for annual or perpetual care, (also known as grounds and grave maintenance.)

Installing a Vault
Concrete Vault
Most cemeteries also charge for a vault.  Known as the outer burial container or a grave-liner, these vaults may be made of concrete, steel or fiberglass.  Their purpose is to keep the ground from sinking in as the casket deteriorates over time.  This also makes it easier to use heavy equipment in the cemetery when needed.  Just as caskets do not prevent the body from decomposing, neither do vaults.  No state requires a vault be installed, but most cemeteries do.  Vault prices range from $1,200 to $2,000.  The price of installing the vault may be included with the vault price.  If not, figure another $300 on average.
Family Mausoleum

Stacked Mausoleum
Other burial options instead of in-ground burials include mausoleums and columbariums.  Mausoleums are above ground structures where the casket is placed in a drawer-like space.  Mausoleums may be private or public.  Private mausoleums were especially popular during the late 1800’s through the 1920’s, mainly for well-to-do individuals and families.  Private or family mausoleums have regained some popularity, but look less like small buildings and more like stacked drawers.
Public mausoleum
Some cemeteries also offer public mausoleums.  This consists of a large public building where hundreds, even thousands of people are entombed.  Many public mausoleums offer the advantage of visiting in a quiet, comfortable place, regardless of the weather.
Columbarium
Columbariums are smaller versions of mausoleums, offering a niche for urns to be placed.  The urns are the receptacles for cremated remains.  Plaques attached to the niches bear the name and information about the deceased.


Rules on Decorations

Cemetery Information
As with funeral homes, cemeteries should provide you with an itemized price list before you buy.  Be sure to read and get a copy of the cemetery’s rules and regulations.  Information on stone size and requirements will be listed here.  Also find out the rules on grave decorations and plantings, and become familiar with the cemetery’s hours for visitation.  Public cemeteries may cost more than not-for-profit cemeteries, especially when considering their location and popularity.
According to the National Funeral Directors Association, cemetery charges for 2010 average as follows.

 Average Cemetery Burial Costs:







Cemetery Charges                                    $1,400
Vault                                                       $1,195
Average Burial Costs                                 $2,595
(Perpetual Care is usually between 5 to 15% of the total sale.)
This number does not include the cost of a gravestone, monument, urn, or space in a mausoleum or columbarium.   These costs vary greatly depending on what you have selected and where the cemetery is.

Total Cost for Average Funeral & Interment       $9,668
(Not including third party charges as listed after funeral service costs and cemetery burial costs.)


Graveside Service
Direct Burial
You also have the right to select direct burial.  This means there is no embalming, no public viewing of the body; no funeral home services need to be performed. You will need to get a death certificate and set up burial with the cemetery.  You also have the option of holding a graveside service at the time of burial and or/a memorial service at a later date. 

All told, for a basic, traditional funeral with viewing, hearse and burial, expect to spend around $10,000 to $15,000 dollars.  As my grandfather used to say, "Death is not for the faint-of-heart!"
~ Joy









Friday, June 10, 2011

Going to the Chapel…Cemetery Weddings



It’s June, the season of weddings.  So I decided to see what people thought of the idea of  ‘tying the knot’ in a cemetery.  It turns out this may be a trend of the future!

According to The Mortician Journal http://www.morticianjournal.com/, out of a list of ‘25 Funeral Trends for 2011’, #8 is “More and more funeral facilities will be used for other services (like weddings and birthdays.)  Funeral homes and cemeteries are now starting to utilize their chapels and grounds for ‘celebration events.’


Community Life Center
In Indianapolis, Indiana, Flanner and Buchanan Funeral Centers http://www.flannerbuchanan.com/ built a ten-million dollar structure they call the ‘Community Life Center’ http://www.clcindy.com/  Opened in 2009, the Center was the site of ten weddings that year.  It now holds several events each month and has over 100 weddings booked for this year and into 2012.

Research indicates that more and more couples, within the past five-year, have entertained the idea of, if not actually been married in cemetery and funeral home chapels.  This interest has caught the attention of cemetery superintendents, sextons and funeral home directors, who are now viewing their sites as places to celebrate life as well as mourn the dead.

Wedding Carriage
Events being held in cemeteries have included birthday celebrations, anniversary parties, seasonal musical events, historic grounds tours, proms, holiday gatherings, banquets, family reunions, business conferences and weddings.  According to a survey conducted by the National Funeral Directors Association, http://www.nfda.org/, almost 10% of over 600 funeral homes in the U.S. have or are offering an event center for use by the community.  Some funeral homes also offer their expertise in planning a wedding.  And that does make sense.  What a funeral home director can accomplish in three days for a funeral, they can also achieve for a wedding, in record time.  In this new market, wedding planners are just beginning to take consider this a viable wedding option.


Norman Chapel
Inside of chapel
The appeal of a cemetery as a wedding location is easy to understand.   According to Leigh Hensley, Executive Assistant at Spring Grove Cemetery and Arboretun http://www.springgrove.org/ in Cincinnati, Ohio, there are many reasons for couples to choose to be married in a cemetery.  For Spring Grove, it may be because of the historic nature and beauty of the grounds, or the gorgeous Norman Chapel, which is non-denominational.  And many times the location has to do with family members being interred there and the sentimental act of including those who have gone ahead.  Hensley said that Spring Grove hosts around 45 wedding per year in the Norman Chapel or their rose garden. http://www.springgrove.org/sg/weddings/sg_weddings.shtm

Cemeteries weddings are also considered to be more ‘green,’ or environmentally friendly, than most regular wedding and reception sites.    And, as an added bonus, the price is usually much less than traditional wedding venues. 

But we are not the first to be drawn to cemeteries to celebrate our life events.  In the mid-1800’s, people treated the cemetery as if it were a park, picnicking, enjoying boat rides on the lake, or taking a quiet carriage ride through the grounds.



During WW II, the Forest Lawn Cemeteries http://www.forestlawn.com/ in California buried during the day and married during the night.  Today the cemetery group has eight chapels that are used for funerals and weddings.

And the interest in cemetery weddings is not just occurring in the U.S.  Cemetery weddings have been reported this year in many parts of the world including Indonesia and China.  The main reasons given overseas for having a cemetery wedding are the same - the beauty of the location, the meaningfulness of being married near ancestors, and the lower cost.

I asked readers of A Grave Interest, friends on my personal page, and members of A Graveyard Rabbit and Cemetery Explorers, all on Facebook, if any of them had been married in a cemetery and how they felt about cemetery weddings.  The overwhelming response was very positive.  While it was a novel idea to some, almost all felt it would be a very peaceful and beautiful location for a wedding.  Here are some of the replies:


Katie Killian wrote: "I would do it in a heartbeat if there was one that I found pretty enough or interesting enough to do it in. There aren't any in Indy that I have any ties to, though."

Steve Kalland thought it was a “Great idea.”

Save A Grave stated:  “I think it’s a cool place to have a wedding.  You can find some great places that would be beautiful for a wedding.  I don’t know anyone who has done it.”

Stewart Dashwood replied: “Sounds interesting!  I like the idea but my fiancĂ© (despite loving cemeteries) isn’t quite sold on it.”

Tricia Neal responded: “Had some pictures taken after the wedding with the old church cemetery in the background, but didn’t actually get married IN the cemetery!  (And the fact that the cemetery was in the background in the pictures was unintentional, although if I’d thought about it at the time, I would have made sure it happened that way!)

Cheryl Mason wrote: “A cemetery in Savannah…under oaks draped in Spanish moss….”

Only a few people were somewhat wary of the idea –

Allison Butt commented that she didn’t “know of anyone doing it.  I don’t think I like the idea, although the setting would be peaceful!”

Beverly Ross Nance replied: “Hmmm, no.  But my family used to picnic in them...”



Thanks to everyone who replied!  So what do you think?  Would you get married, or renew your vows in a cemetery?  I definitely would!  But then, how would you decide, between all of the beautiful cemeteries and chapel out there, which one?  Something to ponder during the next wedding you attend.

~ Joy