The Cost of Dying – Traditional Funeral Services & Burial

A Wedding

We love to plan and prepare for the major events in our lives; graduations, weddings, births, anniversaries, reunions, but when it comes to planning our death – that seems to flummox us like nothing else.  Yet, it is a major life event, and it does need our attention and planning.  Maybe now more than ever!

Invoice Example

Death is a $12 to $15-billion industry in the United States. As we continue to die, rates continue to climb.  Expenses for a funeral service can vary dramatically, depending on what type of funeral you decide on and where you are located.  According to the 2010 Funeral Price Survey by the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) http://www.nfda.org/, Americans spent, on average, $7,775.00 for an adult funeral in 2009, based on the elements of a regular, traditional funeral.

Grave monument

Opening a Grave

This does not include the cemetery costs which include the gravesite, vault, opening and closing of the grave, or the grave marker.  These charges can run another $2,000 to $3,000 for interment in  ‘regular’ cemeteries.  (Remember, the larger, more popular or exclusive a cemetery is, the higher the cost to get admitted.)  And the price of a grave marker or monument depends on what you choose.

Traditional Funeral

So what elements make up a traditional funeral?  What are you paying $7,775.00 on average, for?  Note: a funeral service involves a body being present, it occurs soon after death, and usually includes a viewing of the body.  If there is no body present – it is called a memorial service, does not require a funeral director to be involved and may be held at any time.

To begin the funeral process, you will need to pay for copies of the death certificate.  Then there’s a transportation charge to take the deceased to the funeral home of your choice. 

Studies have found that people make the decision on the funeral home based on these criteria:

Location – usually it’s the funeral home closest to them, or to where the deceased lived.

Family history – they continue to go to the funeral home the family has always used.

Personal recommendations – these are based on suggestions from friends and family. 

Funeral Planning

The National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) encourages customers (And yes, that is what you are,) to ask questions about anything you do not understand. If plans were not already in place and you are feeling stressed and emotional, ask a trusted friend to assist you in getting the funeral arrangements decided on.  A clearer head can be an asset to you and the funeral director when planning a funeral in a time of grief.  You do not necessarily have to accept the pre-bundled funeral services offered by funeral homes, although it may be easier to do so in certain circumstances .  You can pick and choose from the options available to find those that best suit your intentions and finances.

Itemized Statement

Once you have decided on the arrangements you want, the funeral home will present you with an itemized statement of the services and merchandise you have selected.  This includes an estimate of all cash advance fees paid on your behalf to third parties, such as the cemetery, organist, florist, clergy, etc.

A Funeral Cost Breakdown:

Offering Professional Services

Professional Services involve the services provided by the funeral director regarding advice, support, and dealing with third parties, external cleansing of the body, burial arrangements made with the cemetery, and securing all necessary certificates and permits.

Use of Funeral Home

Funeral Cars

Supplemental or Optional charges include transporting the deceased to the funeral home, use of the funeral home, the services of the funeral home attendants for custodial care and arranging the funeral, embalming, cosmetology, charges for the casket or urn, burial vault, obituary notices, flowers, music, prayer cards, memorial cards, acknowledgement cards, providing the hearse, and limousine or funeral cars for transportation to the cemetery for the interment.

Embalming is Optional

You do not have to have the deceased embalmed.  Embalming is never required for the first 24 hours after death. Also, you have a set amount of time to bury a body before embalming may be required according to your state law. There are several religions in the United States that do not allow a body to be embalmed.

Embalming Table

According to Funeral Consumers Alliance, http://www.funerals.org/  “There is no public health purpose served by embalming.” However, the Federal Trade Commission does allow funeral homes to require embalming for public viewing.

Embalming does not preserve the body nor does it not stop decomposition.  It only slows it down for a period of time.

Caskets

One of the largest expenses of a funeral is the casket. Caskets come in all makes and models.  There are very basic caskets - the unadorned pine box, - usually running $500 to  $1,000. 

14K Gold Casket

Bronze Casket

  More detailed caskets with gaskets, seals and liners can cost up to several thousands of dollars, depending on what extras you select.  Up to $10,000 can buy a bronze casket. $40,000 or more will buy you one adorned with gold or jewels!

Here is a break down of funeral costs, provided by the National Funeral Directors Association for 2010.

Average Funeral Service Costs:

Professional Services                               $1,800

Transfer of Remains to Funeral Home       $250

Casket (Metal)                                       $2,295

Embalming                                            $628

Cosmetology                                          $200

Use of facilities/staff for viewing               $395

Use of facilities/staff for Funeral Service    $450

Use of Hearse for funeral                         $275

Use of Limo                                            $125

Service Van                                            $125

Basic Memorial Cards                               $125

Graveside Service                                    $405

Average Funeral Service Costs                $7073.00

This does not show average cost for flowers, death certificate, refrigeration fee (when embalming is not selected,) publishing obituaries, organist, clergy, etc.

Cemetery Burial Costs:

Digging a Grave by Hand

The first cost for a traditional interment is the price of the burial.  The charges associated with this include the grave opening and closing.  (Formerly known as digging the grave and filling it in.)  And there may be a charge for annual or perpetual care, (also known as grounds and grave maintenance.)

Installing a Vault

Concrete Vault

Most cemeteries also charge for a vault.  Known as the outer burial container or a grave-liner, these vaults may be made of concrete, steel or fiberglass.  Their purpose is to keep the ground from sinking in as the casket deteriorates over time.  This also makes it easier to use heavy equipment in the cemetery when needed.  Just as caskets do not prevent the body from decomposing, neither do vaults.  No state requires a vault be installed, but most cemeteries do.  Vault prices range from $1,200 to $2,000.  The price of installing the vault may be included with the vault price.  If not, figure another $300 on average.

Family Mausoleum

Stacked Mausoleum

Other burial options instead of in-ground burials include mausoleums and columbariums.  Mausoleums are above ground structures where the casket is placed in a drawer-like space.  Mausoleums may be private or public.  Private mausoleums were especially popular during the late 1800’s through the 1920’s, mainly for well-to-do individuals and families.  Private or family mausoleums have regained some popularity, but look less like small buildings and more like stacked drawers.

Public mausoleum

Some cemeteries also offer public mausoleums.  This consists of a large public building where hundreds, even thousands of people are entombed.  Many public mausoleums offer the advantage of visiting in a quiet, comfortable place, regardless of the weather.

Columbarium

Columbariums are smaller versions of mausoleums, offering a niche for urns to be placed.  The urns are the receptacles for cremated remains.  Plaques attached to the niches bear the name and information about the deceased.

Rules on Decorations

Cemetery Information

As with funeral homes, cemeteries should provide you with an itemized price list before you buy.  Be sure to read and get a copy of the cemetery’s rules and regulations.  Information on stone size and requirements will be listed here.  Also find out the rules on grave decorations and plantings, and become familiar with the cemetery’s hours for visitation.  Public cemeteries may cost more than not-for-profit cemeteries, especially when considering their location and popularity.

According to the National Funeral Directors Association, cemetery charges for 2010 average as follows.

 Average Cemetery Burial Costs:

Cemetery Charges                                    $1,400

Vault                                                       $1,195

Average Burial Costs                                 $2,595

(Perpetual Care is usually between 5 to 15% of the total sale.)

This number does not include the cost of a gravestone, monument, urn, or space in a mausoleum or columbarium.   These costs vary greatly depending on what you have selected and where the cemetery is.

Total Cost for Average Funeral & Interment       $9,668

(Not including third party charges as listed after funeral service costs and cemetery burial costs.)

Graveside Service

Direct Burial

You also have the right to select direct burial.  This means there is no embalming, no public viewing of the body; no funeral home services need to be performed. You will need to get a death certificate and set up burial with the cemetery.  You also have the option of holding a graveside service at the time of burial and or/a memorial service at a later date. 

All told, for a basic, traditional funeral with viewing, hearse and burial, expect to spend around $10,000 to $15,000 dollars.  As my grandfather used to say, "Death is not for the faint-of-heart!"

~ Joy

Undertaking Death

It is inevitable - we will all die. And for most of us a funeral or memorial service will be held. But what is the advantage of this service?  Why do we expect it, and continue to do it?  Who really benefits from it?

Funeral Rites

Funeral rites have always been a part of our civilization.  All successful cultures have believed that the dead needed attended to in a proper manner. Burial grounds dating back to 60,000 BC show that gifts were left next to the body and rituals were performed - by Neanderthal man.

There are three conditions that are always found when dealing of the dead:

1) Funeral rites, ceremonies or rituals are held

2) The dead are taken to a sacred place to be left

3) The dead are memorialized in some manner

Many death rites and ceremonies were based in fear. They were used to protect the living from evil spirits that were associated with being in or near the dead body.

Sacrifices were offered after a death to appease these evil spirits, or to assist the deceased into another world.

Today, many of our funeral customs are still based in pagan rituals. 

For example:

Lighting candles was originally a way to keep evil spirits at bay while dealing with the dead.

Covering the deceased’s face with a cloth was actually done to stop their spirit from escape through the mouth, possibly stopping death from taking them.

Mourning clothes came about in order to fool returning spirits who might want to take others with them.

Wakes were originally held to make sure that the person was dead and did not ‘wake’ up.

Sending flowers with the body was a way of gaining favor with the dead.

Funeral music began as ancient chants used to pacify the spirits.

The tolling of bells began during medieval times as a way to warn evil spirits away.

Gathering after the funeral for food and fellowship began as a way to offer food to the gods or deceased for special favors.

Why Embalm?

In ancient times, embalming was done so that the soul would not leave the body.  It was believed that the soul would stay as long as the body was intact. Embalming was also done for sanitary reasons.

Dr Thomas Holmes

In America, embalming became accepted during the Civil War. President Lincoln was interested in a way to send soldiers home for interment.   Dr. Thomas Holmes embalmed over 4,000 soldiers and officers so that they could be returned to their families for a proper burial. Once Holmes understood the potential of embalming, he resigned his commission and offered embalming to the public for $100.

Lenin

In our modern world, embalming is used to disinfect the body.  It is also a sanitary way to preserve the body for the visitation and funeral service. Embalming can also lend a life-like appearance to the deceased and improve the appearance of someone who had a traumatic death.

The Funeral Service

Ceremonies and rites were originally held to placate the spirits.  But for hundreds of years, funeral services have been held to assist the living in expressing their grief, find support through friends and family, and celebrate the deceased’s life. 

Each step of the service is a part of the grieving process. Having the body present during a visitation assists the bereaved in recognizing the reality of death.  According to Dr. Erich Lindemann, American author and psychiatrist, specializing in bereavement, “The moment of truth comes when living persons confront the fact of death by looking at the body. Grief is a feeling. If you deny it, you have difficulty coping with it, but if you face it, you start the process of healthful mourning!”

The visitation and funeral service also allows visitors an opportunity to remember the deceased and share those memories with others.  It is a way to honor and celebrate the deceased’s accomplishments and life.

The final step, the committal of the remains, helps the survivors acknowledge that they must now break with the past and move on into the future without their loved one.

The Grief Cycle

A description of the cycle of grief was first introduced in 1969 by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, after studying more than 500 dying people.  It consists of five stages that a person goes through when dealing with death or tragedy.

1) Denial - Usually only a temporary defense.

2) Anger – A person realizes that they cannot continue with the denial and moves into this phase where blaming and rage occur.

3) Bargaining – Trying to negotiate for more time.

4) Grieving/Depression – This is the stage where the certainity of death is understood.

5) Acceptance – The last stage where a person comes to terms with death or tragedy. 

These stages are not necessarily felt in this order but everyone goes through at least two of them. Women are more likely to experience all five.  Results from the study indicated that those who felt they had found their purpose in life faced death with less fear than those who had not.

Sir William Gladstone summed it up best, "

Show me the manner in which a nation cares for its dead and I will measure with mathematical exactness the tender mercies of its people, their respect for the laws of the land, and their loyalty to high ideals."

~ Joy