Having the Last Say – Epitaphs

Godspeed or Good Luck

Name, Date, God is Love

An epitaph is a short text, inscribed on a tombstone that honors a deceased person, provides information about them, or acts as a message to the living.  How someone is remembered can tell us a lot about who they were, their status in their family and community, and about the period of time in which they lived.

Name, Relationships, Occupation

Aunt

An epitaph may be a simple as someone’s name and his or her birth and death years, or the statement of a family relationship such as father or aunt.  But epitaphs can also be very detailed, or rhyming, a poem, or simply a remembrance.  Epitaphs are as distinctive and varied as the people they are a tribute to.

Greek urn

Spanish Epitaph

Epitaphs have been used for centuries beginning with symbols or signs carved into a rock and placed on the deceased’s grave. The Egyptians, Romans and Greeks all used symbols or shapes to signify who was buried in a plot.  The Greeks were said to have eight different grave forms; rectangular slabs, round columns, vases, stone blocks, receptacles for cremated remains, stone coffins, shrines, and carved stones.

Diodorus' stone

A Roman epitaph of ancient gladiator Disorders, transcribed recently from the 2^nd or 3^rd century A.D. reads, “Here I lie victorious, Diodorus the wretched. After breaking my opponent Demetrius, I did not kill him immediately. But murderous Fate and the cunning treachery of the summa rudis killed me...”

Painting by Jean-Leon Gerome Pollice Verso

Epitaph on Diodours' tombstone

The summa rudis, or chief stick, refers to the referee of the game.  Apparently the ref made a bad call, which cost Diodorus his life, and his family did not want this mistake to be forgotten, so it was depicted and inscribed on his tombstone.

Epitaph on White Bronze marker
from the 1800's

The use of epitaphs became widespread near the end of the 1700’s in Europe and 1800's in America. During the nineteenth century they became longer and more detailed, but by the turn of this century, epitaphs began to become more concise again.

Hand-written epitaph

Hand-painted epitaph

During the 1870’s and again in the early 1900’s when times were tough and money was scarce, many tombstones were made from concrete slabs.  Carved by the family, inscribed with a stick in wet cement or painted with a brush, the epitaph was still heartfelt.

An epitaph can be descriptive, religious, thought provoking, or humorous.  It all depends on the personality buried there.  Many times the deceased selected their own epitaph.  If not, then a loved one or family member might do so.  An epitaph may be an expression of grief or love.  It might indicate immigration or illness.  It can be a testament to a life well lived or a love to last forever.  It is a summation of someone’s personal story.

Epitaphs can be placed in many groups, here are just a few I've found:

Tried & True Epitaphs

At Rest

Dear Wife

Gone But Not Forgotten

Grief & Sorrow

Wife, Mother, Friend
All lost in thee.

Dear Morgan thou hast left me
In this world to weep for thee
But with God's will and his good pleasure
I soon will be at rest with thee.

Religious

Blessed are the pure in heart
For they shall see God

Asleep in Jesus

Strength through faith

Unto him that loved us and washed
us from our sins in his own blood - -
to him be the glory and dominion for ever
and ever. Amen. Rev. 1: 5-6

Loving

But, oh for the touch of a
vanished hand and the
sound of a voice that is still

Husband, may we pass together
through the gate ajar.

Thou art gone but remembered

Wait for me, the best is yet to be

Inspirational

An inspiration to all
who knew him

He caught joy on the wing
and enriched our lives

Remember me with laughter

Two epitaphs on this couples stone.
His:  Bonds exist that will never be broke.
He that was dead, lives.
Hers:  One life has finished
and time has come for another to begin

Tributes

He was faithful to every duty

She died as she lived,
a noble woman.

Purity and innocence
require no epitaph
or letter of credit
in the land of spirits

Her beautiful face was heaven's mirror.
Her heart a sanctuary of prayer and love;
With duty fulfilled and faith unfaltering,
The noble spirit entered the court above. 

Our Crown Jewel 

Philosophical

As I sleep this lonely night,
I think of the bird lost in flight...

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Sheltered and safe
from sorrow

No man is an island entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main

Poems

The kiss of the sun for pardon,
The song of the birds for mirth,
One is nearer God's heart in a garden
Than anywhere else on earth.

Dear Husband Can I e're forget,
Or shall the grave eternally sever?
No, in my memory you still live yet.
And in my heart you will live forever.

Why weep ye then for him, who, having won
The bound of man's appointed years, at last,
Life's blessings all enjoyed, Life's labors done
Serenely to  his final resting place has passed.

Life is real!  Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

These are just some examples of the many different types of epitaphs.  So what would you choose for yours?

~ Joy

Gravestone Inscriptions – The Final Say

Gravestone inscriptions are the text we find on headstones, monuments, memorials, and tombstones, those epitaphs that honor the deceased.  An inscription may be as basic as a name, birth and/or death date.  Or it may include more information such as a relationship, an age, an occupation, organizational membership, military service, religious affiliation, even immigration. 

 

  

All of this information is valuable to the genealogist.  Especially when you consider that these inscriptions may be the only proof you will find of those obscure female ancestors and children who died young.  Many times maiden names are shown, marriage dates are listed, spouses and children are named.

A stone, which indicates a relationship such as Mother, Father, or Sister, helps us establish the fact that there are more ancestors in this lineage.

An occupational symbol can give you insight into how your ancestor earned his or her living, but also, the fact that they were proud of what they did.

Fraternal organizations are often specified on gravestones.  This information can lead you to further searches within these groups and their records

Military service can be indicated in a variety of ways and can even identify what unit was served in and what rank was held.

Religious affiliations can be denoted by special symbols, images, even the actual location of where someone is buried.

Symbols and icons are also used as a silent language that can tell us more about the deceased and their beliefs.  For example,

Conch shells indicate wisdom and man’s earthly journey.

A book can indicate an individuals profession, such as a writer or publisher, or may depict the book of life or the Bible.

 A lamb usually indicates the grave of a child and stands for innocence and purity.

 A lion indicate courage and power.  He is the guardian of the grave.

A draped stone signals the death of an adult and deep mourning, the last veil between life and death.

Even the headstone itself can indicate something about the deceased just by the size, shape or type of stone used for a marker.

The best and most accurate way to record gravestone inscriptions is with a camera.  With digital cameras, and now cell phone cameras, there is really little reason not to use this method to document your ancestor’s stone.

Again, a reminder – Never trust the information on a stone to be completely true.  There is always the possibility of errors having been made. Treat gravestone inscriptions as another wonderful research tool to keep you looking in the right direction.

~ Joy

Ready to get started but not sure where to look?  

Here are just a few sources that provide an abundance of cemetery records online:

http://www.cyndislist.com/cemetery.htm

http://www.interment.net/

http://www.findagrave.com/