Having the Last Say – Epitaphs

Godspeed or Good Luck

Name, Date, God is Love

An epitaph is a short text, inscribed on a tombstone that honors a deceased person, provides information about them, or acts as a message to the living.  How someone is remembered can tell us a lot about who they were, their status in their family and community, and about the period of time in which they lived.

Name, Relationships, Occupation

Aunt

An epitaph may be a simple as someone’s name and his or her birth and death years, or the statement of a family relationship such as father or aunt.  But epitaphs can also be very detailed, or rhyming, a poem, or simply a remembrance.  Epitaphs are as distinctive and varied as the people they are a tribute to.

Greek urn

Spanish Epitaph

Epitaphs have been used for centuries beginning with symbols or signs carved into a rock and placed on the deceased’s grave. The Egyptians, Romans and Greeks all used symbols or shapes to signify who was buried in a plot.  The Greeks were said to have eight different grave forms; rectangular slabs, round columns, vases, stone blocks, receptacles for cremated remains, stone coffins, shrines, and carved stones.

Diodorus' stone

A Roman epitaph of ancient gladiator Disorders, transcribed recently from the 2^nd or 3^rd century A.D. reads, “Here I lie victorious, Diodorus the wretched. After breaking my opponent Demetrius, I did not kill him immediately. But murderous Fate and the cunning treachery of the summa rudis killed me...”

Painting by Jean-Leon Gerome Pollice Verso

Epitaph on Diodours' tombstone

The summa rudis, or chief stick, refers to the referee of the game.  Apparently the ref made a bad call, which cost Diodorus his life, and his family did not want this mistake to be forgotten, so it was depicted and inscribed on his tombstone.

Epitaph on White Bronze marker
from the 1800's

The use of epitaphs became widespread near the end of the 1700’s in Europe and 1800's in America. During the nineteenth century they became longer and more detailed, but by the turn of this century, epitaphs began to become more concise again.

Hand-written epitaph

Hand-painted epitaph

During the 1870’s and again in the early 1900’s when times were tough and money was scarce, many tombstones were made from concrete slabs.  Carved by the family, inscribed with a stick in wet cement or painted with a brush, the epitaph was still heartfelt.

An epitaph can be descriptive, religious, thought provoking, or humorous.  It all depends on the personality buried there.  Many times the deceased selected their own epitaph.  If not, then a loved one or family member might do so.  An epitaph may be an expression of grief or love.  It might indicate immigration or illness.  It can be a testament to a life well lived or a love to last forever.  It is a summation of someone’s personal story.

Epitaphs can be placed in many groups, here are just a few I've found:

Tried & True Epitaphs

At Rest

Dear Wife

Gone But Not Forgotten

Grief & Sorrow

Wife, Mother, Friend
All lost in thee.

Dear Morgan thou hast left me
In this world to weep for thee
But with God's will and his good pleasure
I soon will be at rest with thee.

Religious

Blessed are the pure in heart
For they shall see God

Asleep in Jesus

Strength through faith

Unto him that loved us and washed
us from our sins in his own blood - -
to him be the glory and dominion for ever
and ever. Amen. Rev. 1: 5-6

Loving

But, oh for the touch of a
vanished hand and the
sound of a voice that is still

Husband, may we pass together
through the gate ajar.

Thou art gone but remembered

Wait for me, the best is yet to be

Inspirational

An inspiration to all
who knew him

He caught joy on the wing
and enriched our lives

Remember me with laughter

Two epitaphs on this couples stone.
His:  Bonds exist that will never be broke.
He that was dead, lives.
Hers:  One life has finished
and time has come for another to begin

Tributes

He was faithful to every duty

She died as she lived,
a noble woman.

Purity and innocence
require no epitaph
or letter of credit
in the land of spirits

Her beautiful face was heaven's mirror.
Her heart a sanctuary of prayer and love;
With duty fulfilled and faith unfaltering,
The noble spirit entered the court above. 

Our Crown Jewel 

Philosophical

As I sleep this lonely night,
I think of the bird lost in flight...

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Sheltered and safe
from sorrow

No man is an island entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main

Poems

The kiss of the sun for pardon,
The song of the birds for mirth,
One is nearer God's heart in a garden
Than anywhere else on earth.

Dear Husband Can I e're forget,
Or shall the grave eternally sever?
No, in my memory you still live yet.
And in my heart you will live forever.

Why weep ye then for him, who, having won
The bound of man's appointed years, at last,
Life's blessings all enjoyed, Life's labors done
Serenely to  his final resting place has passed.

Life is real!  Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

These are just some examples of the many different types of epitaphs.  So what would you choose for yours?

~ Joy

Keeping the Memory Alive

Memory Medallion®

Last week I wrote about the life of a dear friend, Hap Fleming.  I wished I could have shared some of Hap’s music and Annis’ singing with you. Then I remembered meeting Glenn Toothman at the Midwest Family Expo in July. I immediately located the information he had given me on his company, Memory Medallion®.  Let me state up front, I am not affiliated with, nor do I receive any compensation for this product.  But I am intrigued by it and can see so much potential for genealogists in helping to share our love of family and ancestors, with each other and the world. Just the idea of being able to share a video of Grandma at a family reunion, or a genealogy conference, is fascinating and fun.

Glenn Toothman
Photo by Rebecca Droth -
Pittsburg Post-Gazette

Glenn Toothman came up with the idea of a way to digitally preserve and share photos, videos and family stories about a decade ago.  Toothman said that his father is the reason. His dad returned from a visit to a local cemetery some years back, frustrated that there was no real way to let others know who these people were, what they had done, how they had lived.  Their lives were represented by nothing more than a dash between the date of birth and death.  His father then challenged him to create a better way to honor and remember those who had passed.  Toothman, who was a county district attorney at the time, accepted the challenge and set to work.

Medallion with QR Code

The results are a medallion about the size of a half-dollar.  It is placed on a cemetery stone, mausoleum, or vault and is created to withstand harsh weather conditions.  Each medallion has a QR code, serial number and access code that allows the purchaser entry to a web site online where they can build a loved one’s story profile to share.  The profile can be made up of photos, videos, music, web links, even friends and family reminiscing about the loved one.  The customer can put the profile together and edit it as often as they choose.  The company offers several video tutorials to assist in creating a memorable story. Family members can also work together to share and create displays, each adding what they have to the profile.  Anyone with a smart phone can read the QR code, similar to a barcode, and view the display in the cemetery.  You can also email the web link to those you want to view it, or post it on your Facebook or Twitter page for anyone to see.

Medallions also come in the form of a heart-shaped silver locket or military-style dog tag that you can wear.

The average Memory Medallion® package runs around $225 and includes the medallion, website location for eight photos and a 1,000 word story and printed biography.  Some models are now under $80.

Memory Medallions are located on Veterans Memorials,  9/11 Monuments and personal graves.  Toothman says that the medallions are also being used to memorialize weddings, anniversaries, births, graduations and special pets.  Also on Alumni Walls, sports walls. For more information, visit their web page at http://www.memorymedallion.com/index  or on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/MemoryMedallion

With this being Thanksgiving weekend and families gathered together for a few days, maybe this would be the perfect time to begin to assemble the lifetime story of a loved one or ancestor.  What a special way to remember and celebrate someone’s life.

~ Joy

(All photos not labeled are courtesy of Memory Medallions)